When I quit smoking my sister offered me invaluable advice that she had followed. She told me that when the urge to light up entered her mind, she simply told herself, “Forget it. I’ve already decided. Just for today I am not smoking. End of sentence. No debate.”

It really was a great piece of advice. I needed to stop running through every possible scenario. I needed to stop asking myself:  Is this reason enough to have one? Is this enough stress to warrant it?  If I do have just one, will I be able to stop again tomorrow? If I were going to have one, would I bum one from someone right now, or wait until I could get my own brand?

Simply and decisively, as soon as I noticed myself romancing the idea of smoking, I said to myself, “I’ve already made up my mind for today. No debate.”

When you are changing your habits, it is vital that you not debate with yourself (and thereby give yourself the option of talking yourself out of your decision).

Quitting smoking is difficult, as is changing your eating habits. So is deciding to “let go” of a tormenting issue. In order to do any of these things, we need to have successes. We need to have days when we are not living in the “problem.”

These days will start to build upon each other. Day-by-day your vision of yourself will change. Change will start to seem not only possible, but also painless.

Apply the “no debate” strategy to any realistic resolutions. Such as …

… Daily exercise. You don’t have to have an exercise plan worked out for the rest of your life, or even for the rest of the week. I often make my plan the night before. Sometimes my plan is actually NOT to exercise. But once I’ve decided what that plan is, then the next step is the action (or not), but it is not re-deciding.

… Make conscious food choices. How? Simply by writing down everything you eat. If you are over-indulging, rebelling against the last diet or on a “holiday extravaganza” (that might have started at Halloween and seems like it could go on through Valentines Day) … now is the time to do something different. No other expectations, just conscious-eating by writing down what you’ve eaten.

– or –

… Plan your food. Write down what you are going to eat for the rest of the day. Needing to have a few variables is not an excuse – this allowance can be part of your written plan.

Then take action. Do you need to grocery shop? Do you need to make your lunch? Action – not debate!

… Let go of your problem. Who is s/he? Is it a tormenting boss? A way-ward child? Just for today, decide not to participate in your usual dance with them. Not even in your head!

Perhaps your problem is a disease or a job situation. Just for today, give yourself the gift of acting on, not thinking about, “the problem.” Stay off the merry-go-round. Decide early in the morning, or the night before, if there is an action that needs to be taken. If not… then release it. If your brain starts churning, remember these words:  “I’ve already decided for today.” Allow yourself to experience the liberating and empowering feeling that comes from being free of constant inner nagging.

No matter what your resolution — at the end of the day, spend five minutes evaluating your plan. Give yourself credit for what you’ve done right and evaluate what you need to change. If you did fine with your plan, don’t necessarily change it to make it “better” or “more.”

Which leads me to a last resolution that everyone should consider:

… Let go of negative self-talk. No matter whether you are exercising (or not), dieting (or not), do not give in to negative-self talk. When you find yourself being self critical, just remember you are going to save that for the end of the day, when you make your plan for the future.

Change can come without struggle. Let go of the struggle. Life is meant to be enjoyed — do just that! End of sentence. No debate.

Comments(1)

One of my favorite sayings to comfort myself, when I screw things up is this:

“It’s hard to be me… but it’s worth it!”

And you know what? It’s true! I do love being me. That has not always been something I’ve been able to say.  I’ve had to learn to minimize my character defects; reframe my challenges; be more honest; be more true; be less judgmental.

Much of it I learned in 12-step programs. When I learned to love other people, in spite of the fact that they were far from perfect… I was able to learn to love myself too.

My goal in 2010 for the Reasonable Diet, as a program, is to find ways to allow more and more people to experience the wonderful path of changing through self-love.

I hope you will start today.

Love yourself, just a little bit more than you think you can, just a little bit more than is comfortable.

Resist the urge to say one disparaging thing about yourself. Look kindly at yourself in the mirror.

Find a way to say something truly nice about yourself out loud to another person.

Give yourself permission to think about how much you would really enjoy having a friend like you.

Daydream.

Write a poem.

Recognize all the beauty and joy that you bring to your own corner of the world.

Thank yourself for all the hard work you do.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.
(or what ever version of whatever holiday you are celebrating.)

Your imperfect (yet very lovable) friend,
Sandra

Comments(2)

… even more reasonable tips for you as you party through the holidays.

~~ Be chatty.  Even if you are not the host, pretend like you are the host and mix and mingle and really participate in an active way.

~~ Position yourself away from the food.

~~ Wear slim fitting, not spacious clothes when you dress for dinner. A tight waistband is a good signal to back off.

~~ Maintain perspective:  Don’t let any one day make or break your eating plan.  If you over indulge at a holiday meal, put it behind you. Return to your usual eating plan the next day without despair.

“Remember, even monkeys fall out of trees.” – Korean Proverb

More tomorrow.

Be reasonable!

Sandra

Comments(0)

~~ When choice of dessert is offered, choose one, not a bit of each.

~~ Rate each food offered on a 1 to 10 scale: 1 – not appealing; 10 – WOW!, my favorite! Eat only 9s and 10s. Pass on the rest.

~~ Prevent grazing by consciously choosing the food you’ll eat, putting it on a plate, and sitting down to eat it.

~~ Fill your plate with what is really appealing, but decide “no seconds” before you even begin. Eat it slowly – enjoying and savoring every bite.

~~ Finalize your meal: Pop a mint, or a stick of gum in your mouth; or go for a walk. Be the fun aunt or uncle that organizes a game for the kids after dinner. (And who, by the way, doesn’t have to deal with cleaning up or left-overs!)

More tomorrow.

Be reasonable!

Sandra

Comments(4)

If you love pumpkin pie…this blog post is for you.

Fact #1: Most of the calories for pie are in the crust

Fact #2: Most of the pie you are offered will be store bought frozen crusts.

*****

Hint: Just eat the filling with only a bite  (or none) of the high fat crust.

Hint: If you are making your own–  opt for pie filling baked without the crust in a custard cups.

*****

or

Here is a tried and true recipe for a
Crustless Pumpkin Pie made with Splenda.

Comments(1)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (SAD)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you suffer from depression that seems to worsen in the winter please read the following article about SAD (Seasonable Affective Disorder). This is a very real and debilitating disorder and should be taken seriously.

This article contains good questions to ask your doctor.

This article contains some practical tips.

However, it fails to mention, my favorite tip…which is taking a vacation to a warmer climate. While everyone may not be able to follow this advice, a sunny vacation can break up what may feel like a long bleak winter, enough to provide substantial relief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GRIEF
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

According to the Harvard Women’s Health Watch “Grief will be with many of us this holiday season. If you’re over age 40, there’s a 1-in-3 chance that a close relative or friend of yours died in the last year. Or you may be among the 1 million Americans who lost a spouse. Still, in an era when the media seem to tout the wisdom of “closure” within days of any tragedy, it’s easy to feel abnormal when confronted with the long, painful, and messy process of adapting to a death.”

I thought this article had some lovely thoughts on honoring your grief and honoring the memory of your loved one during the holidays.

Blessings,

Sandra

Comments(1)

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?

Pour Santa flush on him.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

If those jokes don’t even make your roll your eyes then maybe you need this Reasonable (December) Life message.

Are you feeling …

… somewhat baaa-hum-bug?

… a little sad?

… or grief stricken?

Well you are not alone.

The National Mental Health Alliance says, “Many factors can cause the “holiday blues”: stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialization, financial constraints, and the inability to be with one’s family and friends. The demands of shopping, parties, family reunions and house guests also contribute to feelings of tension. People may also develop other stress responses such as headaches, excessive drinking, over-eating and difficulty sleeping.”

Negative feelings range from …

“I love Christmas and wish I was more organized so I could enjoy it”

to

“I shouldn’t have scheduled my kitchen to be remodeled so close to the holidays”

to

“I get depressed every winter.”

to

“My son committed suicide this year.”

The possibilities range of solutions is just as wide.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is something for those who might not be “blue” because their blood runs red and green… but they think they could enjoy the season more if they were more organized.

You may love this website totally devoted to Christmas organizing.

http://www.christmasorganizing.com

Or you may think the “Christmas Coach” who runs it is totally nuts. I’m not sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you need a little bah-humbug attitude adjustment you may want to check out this blog post

http://pamperspective.blogspot.com/2009/11/holiday-attitude-adjustment.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are single and feeling the lack of being “coupled” here are some ideas:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Single-and-Sad—5-Ways-to-Beat-the-Holiday-Blues&id=327356

The next issue will have information on Seasonable Affective Disorder (SAD) and dealing with grief.

Til then,

Sandra

Comments(2)

Here is a link to a pdf (printable) version of this blog post

Do you have a party or get-together this week? Is it a gathering you’ve looked forward to or one you wouldn’t mind skipping? Will it put you face-to-face with any of your must-have foods?  Will it put you in contact with someone with whom you have a much-loved tradition?

Having thought about your overall priorities for December and your priorities as they relate to your schedule this week will help you develop a successful party strategy.

Developing a strategy is not to say that you can’t enjoy yourself. It is just a way to stay conscious of your food choices so you don’t have to wake up with feelings of remorse or regret.

Most likely the party will involve many moments-of-choice. You are not going to want to say YES to all of them. Developing a strategy is not punishment. Have fun with it. Pick and choose from one of the following strategies or creatively (and reasonably) make up your own!

Strategy: Reasonably Walking the Line

Who: Those who want or need to follow a fairly strict plan. Those determined to lose weight in December. Those who will encounter so much holiday activity that they need to use a more stringent strategy for certain lower priority parties.

Tip: Don’t assume there will be any low-calorie food available. Portion control will be paramount. Don’t go hungry. Have a bowl of vegetable soup before leaving home.

Action: If you feel comfortable, call the host and ask what is being served. If appropriate, offer to bring a dish that fits your needs.

Attitude Adjustment: Your diet is a top priority to you for a reason. Is the reason your  health, a personal goal, a self-esteem issue or all of the above? Don’t feel bad or apologize to anyone (including yourself). (See my earlier post about etiquette)

Strategy: Reasonably Paring It Down

Who: Those who may not need to plan exactly what they are going to eat, but want to keep a measure of control.

Tip: Situate yourself away from the food.

Action: Eat only from a plate and only while you are seated.

Attitude Adjustment: Forget contemplating the level of scrumptious-ness as an indicator of what to have. It’s not likely you’ll run into too much that isn’t pretty tasty. Instead of asking “How will it taste?” ask yourself, “How will eating this make me feel?” Consider the immediate consequence, how you will sleep later and how you will physically feel tomorrow. Also consider how you will feel about yourself. Remind yourself that it is empowering to wake up with a feeling of accomplishment (and no sugar, caffeine or wine hangover)! It’s also empowering to be able to step on the scale without dread.

Preparation: As you get ready for the party, take one minute to visualize the perfect outcome: You – looking smashing, being the life of the party, smiling and engaging with people; You - leaving the party feeling light and lively; You – stepping off the scale with a another smile on your face.

Strategy: Reasonably Living It Up

Who: For those who’ve said (or thought), “I’m not dieting in December. I’ll get back to it in January.”

Tip: Decide to leave one bite on your plate. This is not magic, but any strategy will help you be more conscious of your food choices throughout the meal or event. Decide whether you are going to indulge in salty-crunchy snacks, beverages, breads, appetizers, the main course or dessert. Consider if it might be better to avoid the type of food that is particularly challenging for you to manage reasonably.

Action: Choose a person on whom to focus. Perhaps you could decide to really get to know your sister-in-law. Or choose a (non-food) theme about which to converse. For instance, choose a topic like “charity” and then have various questions you ask each guest: where they have volunteered, where they would like to volunteer if they could; if their parents were volunteers, etc.

Attitude Adjustment: Remind yourself that food is great, but in the wise words of Julia Child, “Life itself is the proper binge.” Decide how you can binge on something besides food. It is much easier to stay on an even keel than it is to spiral down and then have to wind your way back up to sane eating.

Preparation: Memorize one of the following mantras to repeat to yourself before you make any food or beverage choice:

Indulgence does not mean over-indulgence

I am a reasonable eater

My choices reflect my intentions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally - Don’t forget to have a beverage strategy. Calories in drinks really add up, and liquor can also have the “double-trouble” effect of making you lose your resolve regarding food.

½ cup sparking grape juice (80 calories)

½ cup wine (90 calories)

12-ounce bottle light beer (110 calories)

12-ounce regular beer (140 calories)

1 shot of 80-proof liquor (100 calories)

½ cup champagne (85 calories)

Comments(1)

By now, you’ve probably seen the 100-calorie packs of snack foods being marketed by all the big names. For a premium price per ounce, dieters are piling them in their shopping baskets in the name of convenience and portion control.

To help us avoid vending machines and drive-through windows, where most of the choices are a lot more than 100 calories, it’s great to have grab-and-go snack options.

I’ve compiled The Reasonable Diet Mega List of  100-Calorie Snacks. Many of them can be grab-and-go with just a little forethought. By having them in your purse while shopping or waiting for kids, you’ll find your hunger much more manageable. That way you don’t resort to “whatever is at hand” until you can get to your next reasonable meal.

While it’s true that a “regular” cookie is just about 100 calories, they are completely empty (non-nutritious) calories that will just have you longing for more. Many of the snacks on this list include fruits, vegetables, whole grains and nuts. Your entire family will benefit from choosing their snacks from the list.

For your convenience I’ve included the breakdown of the calories so you can creatively concoct your own combinations. This will also be handy if you can’t find the specific brand I mention and want to compare another.

Five Snacking Tips

• Using a kitchen scale and plastic baggies, make ahead a supply of your own favorite snacks of 100 calories. (This could be a good job for kids.)

• Think of the snacks as potential mini-meals. Grazers, who tend to eat all day long, could have 1 cup of skim milk (90), 4 mini-meals (400), a 600-calorie dinner (600) with one 4-ounce glass of wine (90) and another mini-meal snack (100) and still have consumed less than 1300 calories for the day.

• One cup of chopped lettuce or spinach is only seven calories. Think of the snacks as potential salad toppings.

• The calorie count for one cup of most non-starchy green vegetables is between 14 (celery) and 30 (broccoli). If you take time to prepare them and put them in plastic bags, you might be surprised how often you grab them as you leave home.

• For convenience, print out an extra copy of the snack list and use it to supplement your grocery list. Use a highlighter to indicate the items you need from the store.

Follow this link for a printable version of The Reasonable Diet Mega List of  100-Calorie Snacks.

Comments(0)

The steps to take to alleviate stress can be gleaned from its dictionary definition: American Heritage says, “A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences …”

Note the words “external influences.”

Sifting through to determine what is truly an external factor in our life and what is self-imposed is the first step in liberating ourselves from stress.

Adapted from an exercise designed to help dieters prioritize what food they “must have!” in December, I devised a way to help me prioritize my life in December. The exercise includes, for example, listing three December events I really didn’t want to miss. The first time I did this exercise, “Christmas Eve celebration at my parent’s house” made the list.

Even though I was whining and stressing about my dysfunctional-family-Christmas, the truth was that I wanted to attend; I chose to attend. Simply by consciously acknowledging that truth, the stress was alleviated. It was no longer external, but rather a self-imposed factor in my December.

(Side note here: Since I’ve become a little less dysfunctional, my family holidays have too. Funny how that works!)

Would you take ten minutes today or tomorrow to breeze through the “December 3-Step?” Don’t dwell on each answer. Just try to get through all the steps in about ten minutes.

TOMORROW

Tomorrow I’m going to discuss party and celebration strategies. To get the most out of it, you’ll be glad you did the “December 3-Step” first.

Here is a printable version of the December 3-Step.

Have fun with this!

Sandra

Comments(0)