I’ve witnessed people who have an insane relationship with the scale. When I used to work for a weight-loss center, the weigh-in ritual would often include shedding shoes, belts and even the tiniest of earrings. One woman would even insist on taking off her pants. As I protested – that it was a public place and men and kids could walk in at any moment – she would be unzipping down to her skivvies.

Is your bathroom scale a friend or foe? Even for those who are successfully losing weight, or who are at an ideal weight, there are often feelings of dread and angst as they step on the scale.

It is important to calm our relationship with our scale – which is a matter of calming our feelings about our weight and then reprogramming the messages that would have us judge ourselves according to how much we weigh on any given day.

Normalizing our relationship with the scale is important because, if used correctly, the scale can be a good indicator of if (or how) we need to modify our behavior.

The National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) is tracking more than 5,000 individuals who have lost significant amounts of weight and kept it off for long periods of time. They are examining the behavioral and psychological characteristics of weight maintainers, as well as the strategies they use to maintain their weight losses.

One of the common denominators of their habits is that they step on the scale. In fact, 75% of participants weighed themselves at least once per week, and many weighed themselves daily.

In order to maintain an appropriate weight, I use the same strategy that I suspect many folks in the NWCR use. I see what I can get by with in terms of “indulgence calories,” and when the scale starts tipping to the right – I rein it in and take off a few pounds.

A weekly recording of your weight is also crucial. People who are actually losing weight will often convince themselves they are on a plateau, the diet isn’t working, they should be doing more, etc.

Judy is an example. She has lost 19 pounds in six months and is now in an appropriate weight range. Yet she constantly tells herself (and the group) she isn’t exercising enough (three times a week), she is eating too much cake, etc. She will actually say the words “I’m not losing weight” when she has just gotten off the scale and it was down a half a pound. It’s good to have solid, black-and-white evidence. It’s also good to have a diet coach or group support to lend some perspective.

The same is true of folks who are gaining weight and convincing themselves it’s “just a few pounds” and they will worry about later. Seeing it in black and white over a range of time can be helpful. It may be just a few pounds … but when you see it over months or years – it can give you a reality check that might prompt you to make the decision to reverse the trend.

How often should you weigh yourself?

When it comes to how often to weigh, laughingly, the best advice I give, as a diet coach, is to tell people to do the opposite of what they are now doing. If you never get on the scale … you should weigh once a day for a couple of months. This will help you get out of denial if you are gaining and also give you a realistic picture of your weight fluctuations due to salt intake, hormones, air travel, time of day, etc.

If you are getting on the scale daily or even more than once a day, it is probably time to cut it back to once a week. Monitor and record your weight at the same time every week, but also take a thorough inventory of your past week’s behavior. You should note your regrets as well as your accomplishments with regard to your diet and exercise routine. With this big picture – the scale is just one piece of feedback.

If you take this inventory of your behavior, and you’re doing well – yet the number on the scale is disappointing – try using the wise words of my client Shirley,

“The number on the scale is not a reflection of who I am, it is a reflection of who I used to be. I am a person who exercises regularly and eats right. I am already at my goal weight. The number on the scale measures the progress of my body catching up with who I am today.”

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We eat for many reasons rather than because we are hungry. One of them is to reward ourselves for a job well done.

Rewards for a job well done

Preplanned short term rewards that you decide in advance to help keep you on track with your goals.

EXAMPLES:

$10 on makeup
new pens or crayon
journal or sketch pad
magazine
Saturday afternoon reading fiction
sleeping in
$10 on a coffee card at Starbucks
a playdate with a friend
flowers for your desk

Preplanned long term rewards that you decide in advance to help keep you on track with your goals.

EXAMPLES:
If I am at my goal weight and have  a book written by September, I’ve got a wonderful week-long staycation planned for myself.

What longer term goals and rewards would you like to set in place?

Want to make yourself a visual reminder to hang on your refrigerator?
Here is a fun program  called Wordle to use to do it.

Spontaneous rewards

These too are for a job well done: you finished your work week; you weeded the garden; you wrote the report and suddenly you want a milkshake, or some munchies, or just to be taken out to eat.

Okay, great. The first thing is to tell yourself, “YES! I do deserve the reward.” Don’t try to argue yourself out of the pat on the back in order to convince yourself not to blow your diet. Give yourself the pat on the back. Big time. It is not easy to manage to get things done in the fast past speeded up world in which we live. We all need pats on the back all the time. Every day. We don’t however want to blow our calories out of the water while do it.

Sometimes this pat on the back that you give yourself will be enough. Other times, you might ask for a pat on the back from someone else. Kevin knows that I really love to be thanked and praised for what I do. So when I get done with something I tell him that I did it and he reciprocates. We used to have this misunderstanding were he would get defensive and think it was because I was trying to guilt him, or suggest it was something that he should have been doing. Not so. (Usually). I’ll also call or text my sister or my Mom for the same purpose. Even if they don’t gush all over me, it feels good to have expressed my own appreciation for my awesomeness.

Next step  is to remind yourself with the word “and” that you are also wanting to achieve certain goals. “Yes, I am awesome and do deserve a milkshake AND I am also trying to lose a pound this week so that I can stay on track for that weeks vacation. ” Then what will it be..

…a nap
…a walk
…a glass of iced iced tea with a magazine you’ve been waiting to read
…an evening with your girls
… a ride with the top down/onyour bike

If you are going to use food as a reward try the good/ better/ best strategy

So tell us….

What are some short term reward ideas?

What are some of your longer term goals and rewards?

What do you think of the ideas for spontaneously rewarding yourself? Would just patting yourself on the back work for you? When do you usually find yourself wanting reward? Could you plan for them?

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Some favorite quotes I’ve been enjoying lately:

 On getting started:

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of the journey behind him.
~~ Dutch proverb

On overcoming obstacles:

“Fall seven times, get up eight.” 
~~ Japanese Proverb

 ”One does not drown by falling in the river. One drowns by staying in the river.”
~~ Hungarian Proverb

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. 
~~Albert Einstein

And another favorite from Albert Eisnstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein

What has been inspiring you?

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