Last week I published a video about “Five Things You Must Know Before Starting Any Diet.” One of my viewers had a question about this fact: “You Must Find Your Path of Least Resistance.” Here I elaborate on it.

Tomorrow we start the group: Lose Twenty Pounds in Twelve Weeks (By Thanksgiving). Hope you will get the support you need. As I point out in the video: You can’t do the same thing over and over and expect different results. Let me help you find your path of lesser resistance so you can try a new approach.

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Here is a recording of the 9/2/10 teleconference call — Three (Sure Fire) Reasonable Ways to Lose Twenty Pounds in 12 Week.

Here is a link to the Printable Call Guide

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Hope you enjoy this very informative video of Five Things you MUST Know Before Staring ANY diet.
Right at the end — there is a $25 off coupon on the Reasonable Diet Program good thru Sept. 3.

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Dear public viewers,

This is one of the new ways I stay in contact with my members. Every Friday, I send them a motivational video. I don’t make these videos public, because I don’t want to get hung up on having to have special lighting, and getting my makeup on, editing the video so it looks professional, etc … I know if I had to do all of that, I’d get derailed… so they are kind down and dirty… You’ll see what I mean if you watch this one all the way to the end.

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I’ve witnessed people who have an insane relationship with the scale. When I used to work for a weight-loss center, the weigh-in ritual would often include shedding shoes, belts and even the tiniest of earrings. One woman would even insist on taking off her pants. As I protested – that it was a public place and men and kids could walk in at any moment – she would be unzipping down to her skivvies.

Is your bathroom scale a friend or foe? Even for those who are successfully losing weight, or who are at an ideal weight, there are often feelings of dread and angst as they step on the scale.

It is important to calm our relationship with our scale – which is a matter of calming our feelings about our weight and then reprogramming the messages that would have us judge ourselves according to how much we weigh on any given day.

Normalizing our relationship with the scale is important because, if used correctly, the scale can be a good indicator of if (or how) we need to modify our behavior.

The National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) is tracking more than 5,000 individuals who have lost significant amounts of weight and kept it off for long periods of time. They are examining the behavioral and psychological characteristics of weight maintainers, as well as the strategies they use to maintain their weight losses.

One of the common denominators of their habits is that they step on the scale. In fact, 75% of participants weighed themselves at least once per week, and many weighed themselves daily.

In order to maintain an appropriate weight, I use the same strategy that I suspect many folks in the NWCR use. I see what I can get by with in terms of “indulgence calories,” and when the scale starts tipping to the right – I rein it in and take off a few pounds.

A weekly recording of your weight is also crucial. People who are actually losing weight will often convince themselves they are on a plateau, the diet isn’t working, they should be doing more, etc.

Judy is an example. She has lost 19 pounds in six months and is now in an appropriate weight range. Yet she constantly tells herself (and the group) she isn’t exercising enough (three times a week), she is eating too much cake, etc. She will actually say the words “I’m not losing weight” when she has just gotten off the scale and it was down a half a pound. It’s good to have solid, black-and-white evidence. It’s also good to have a diet coach or group support to lend some perspective.

The same is true of folks who are gaining weight and convincing themselves it’s “just a few pounds” and they will worry about later. Seeing it in black and white over a range of time can be helpful. It may be just a few pounds … but when you see it over months or years – it can give you a reality check that might prompt you to make the decision to reverse the trend.

How often should you weigh yourself?

When it comes to how often to weigh, laughingly, the best advice I give, as a diet coach, is to tell people to do the opposite of what they are now doing. If you never get on the scale … you should weigh once a day for a couple of months. This will help you get out of denial if you are gaining and also give you a realistic picture of your weight fluctuations due to salt intake, hormones, air travel, time of day, etc.

If you are getting on the scale daily or even more than once a day, it is probably time to cut it back to once a week. Monitor and record your weight at the same time every week, but also take a thorough inventory of your past week’s behavior. You should note your regrets as well as your accomplishments with regard to your diet and exercise routine. With this big picture – the scale is just one piece of feedback.

If you take this inventory of your behavior, and you’re doing well – yet the number on the scale is disappointing – try using the wise words of my client Shirley,

“The number on the scale is not a reflection of who I am, it is a reflection of who I used to be. I am a person who exercises regularly and eats right. I am already at my goal weight. The number on the scale measures the progress of my body catching up with who I am today.”

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TIP  — Start your meal with soup, salad or fruit.

Eating three cups of green salad with fat-free dressing cut the number of calories people consumed at a meal by 12 percent. This was the finding in a study from Penn State University at University Park.

My favorite low-fat dressings are Newman’s Own Sesame Ginger or Ken’s Steakhouse Raspberry Vinaigrette. Lately, however, I’ve been squeezing a thick slice of lime and tossing the juice with a teaspoon of honey and a dash of red wine vinegar.

Dieters in another Penn State study who used two 10-½-ounce servings of broth-based soup per day for a year lost 50 percent more weight than those who consumed the same number of calories from low fat snacks.

Do you think this means that what they say about “a calorie is a calorie” as far as weight gain or loss, no matter what the source of that calorie is false? I suspect that it means that you eat more calories when you consume artificial food like “low fat snacks” that when you consume real food that has real fiber in it.

Not to mention the craving that are set off  by consuming processed food and carbs.

So, yes, likely a calorie is a calorie when it comes to weight gain or loss — on the surface — but not when it comes to satisfaction /satiation, which is where our issue most often is.

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When my clients are just starting out on the path of “reasonable dieting,” they often feel overwhelmed. After all, I don’t exactly cut a clear path for them. My mission is to help you create your own path, so you can learn how to make the decisions and feel empowered to do so… learning eventually that you can trust yourself with food and diet decisions.
But when I don’t tell clients exactly what to do – they can feel overwhelmed. That is when I ask them to just take a week and simply eat with the intention of losing weight. It is not that complicated. How can you cut out a few more calories in intake or burn a few more in output.

Perhaps this should be your goal for the week: Eat with the intention of losing weight. If so… here is an affirmation for you. Start your day by writing it or speaking it out loud – preferably both. Then use the affirmation cards (stuck on your mirror, in your car, on your computer, etc.) to remind yourself of your intention throughout the day.

I eat with the intention of losing weight.

I easily move toward a healthy, happy weight.

I am happy with my intention. I am satisfied with each choice I make.

Decisions I face are easily resolved when I remember that it is in my own best interest to eat with this intention.

I am eating with the intention of losing weight

Click here if you would like six-to-a-page business card size affirmation cards to print out. My free gift to you!

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There are many benefits of drinking water to lose weight and many ways to get used to drinking more water.  According to Dr. Donald Roberson, M.D., M. Sc, here are some really important facts about drinking more water to lose weight: “Water suppresses the appetite naturally and helps the body metabolize stored fat. Studies have shown that a decrease in water intake will cause fat deposits to increase, while an increase in water intake can actually reduce fat deposits. Here’s why: The kidneys can’t function properly without enough water. When the kidneys don’t work to capacity, some of their load is dumped onto the liver. One of the liver’s primary functions is to metabolize stored fat into usable energy for the body. If the liver has to do some of the kidney’s work, it can’t operate at full throttle. As a result, it metabolizes less fat, more fat remains stored in the body, and weight loss stops.”

Seven great ideas for drinking more water to lose weight

1. Have it with you. You’ll find yourself easily drinking more water if you have it with you,  especially at your desk and in the car.

2. Measure your water to drink more water. As in all goal setting – what gets measured gets achieved. One method of measuring would be to have containers (bottles, pitchers, etc.) with your daily amount pre-measured in them. Another would be to have a method to keep track of how many cups you’ve consumed. For instance put eight hair ties on your right hand to represent each glass of water you need. When you drink one of the glasses, switch one to your left hand. Your goal is to get them on your left hand before the day is up!

3. Drink water through a straw. Less air consumed = easier swallowing. It works!

4. Decide what temperature you prefer. Many people have a preference and will find themselves drinking more water if it is cold water, but some find that water at room temperature is more easily consumed.

5. Have a ritual. For instance stand at your kitchen sink and take your vitamins while drinking three cups of water. Have a special glass, special straw, special prayer that you say or song that you sing. Laura, who is a teacher says that she can’t drink too much water during the day or she will have to leave her classroom unattended, so her routine is to drink six cups on the way home from work. She sits in her driveway until she gets it accomplished.

6. Spike it! Refrigerate a classy glass pitcher full of water plus lemon, lime or orange slices. There are individual-size servings of powdered flavorings you can add to a bottle of water.  Or for those who want “natural”– add 1 tablespoon of no-sugar 100% blueberry, pomegranate, or cranberry juice for a great lo-cal taste addition. Use an ice cube tray to freeze the remaining juice for future servings.

7. Force yourself. For many people, increasing their water intake seems to be a habit that is fairly easy to change. When they force themselves to adequately hydrate for a week or two, they find they can learn to recognize their thirst signals easier and naturally want to satisfy them. So just do it!

Those are some ways to drink more water for losing weight — here are other reasons it will help with weight loss and more.

Drinking a full glass of water first thing in the morning helps wake the body up. So kick-start your day with water!

Water helps you look good. By flushing out toxins and impurities, water can make your skin clearer, smoother and younger looking.

Drinking water helps you control hunger. Your body may be confusing your signals for hunger and thirst. Staying hydrated can eliminate this issue and thus drinking more water can help you feel less hungry and so help you lose weight.

Dr. Jennifer Brett, a Naturopathic Physician, says some of the symptoms that she sees as a result of under-hydration include: “constipation, dry and itchy skin, acne, nose bleeds, repeated urinary tract infections, dry and unproductive coughs, constant sneezing, sinus pressure and headaches.”

People who stay hydrated at the gym tend to exercise longer.

It’s refreshing, good for you and inexpensive. Now go get a glass of water.

This article also appeared on Slim People In Progress.

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As a diet coach who addresses dieting from a head and heart perspective, I consistently get asked if I am familiar with the work of Geneen Roth? Well, now that she is Oprah’s favorite (non) diet guru, there aren’t going to be many people in America who aren’t familiar with her philosophy, which basically espouses that one need not diet, if one will instead address their own emotional and spiritual needs. According to her philosophy we’ll all stop overeating when we fill that hole inside of us with love instead of food.

Unfortunately, she is offering a one-dimensional solution to a multi-dimensional problem. Now, don’t get me wrong, most of what Roth says is right on target. We DO need to address the emotional reasons for overeating.

But what of the research done by Brian Wansink? In his book Mindless Eating, Wansink tells us that human beings (not dysfunctional human beings, but simply random human beings), eat more based on cues such as container size, placement on the table and what those around us are eating.

Let’s not forget about the amazing work and recent discoveries in the field of neuroplasticity (brain change). This research shows the brain gets wired in certain ways, and the resulting habits, obsessions and limitations can be changed, but it takes repeated intentional behavior modification techniques. Many of these techniques, ummm, often sound a lot like the structure, discipline and accountability associated with dieting. (Read Norman Doidge’s The Brain That Changes Itself.)

What about the fact that moving our body must now be planned into our day, lest we find our butt turning to lard in the computer chair?

Do not discount the numerous scientists and experts who have documented the addictive qualities of corn syrup and even simple carbohydrates. It’s pretty damn challenging to construct a diet that doesn’t include some of these. You certainly don’t do it by talking to your therapist or your rabbi. You do it by making a plan, reading labels, avoiding certain foods and seeking out others, not by getting right with God and hoping it all works out.

What is this “diet” that Geneen Roth is so afraid will keep us away from spiritual enlightenment and this wonderful, beautiful, juicy life that we are longing to live? Is it calorie counting? Weight Watchers? Dean Ornish’s Eat More Weight Less or Joel Furham’s Eat To Live?

All of these, and thousands of others on the shelf, are what I call “directed diets.” That means you follow a set of directions about your diet. What do all such diets have in common? First, let me tell you what they don’t have in common. They don’t tell you that you have to be deprived or hungry. And, you know what else – even at those times when you DO feel deprived or hungry when dieting, that might just not be the end of the world. It may mean that you need to eat more vegetables, which might be a lesson you need to learn. Just saying.

Oh, and if the diet doesn’t really make nutritional sense, then avoid it because of that, not because it is in a book with “diet” in the title.

Five Elements Most Directed Diets Have in Common

1. Structure – If you have some preplanned ideas about what to eat and when to eat it, you are half way home. Brian Wansink, in Mindless Eating says we make over 200 food decisions in the course of a day. That’s way too many for the “willpower” brain capacity of any normal human being. Structure helps us narrow things down, eliminating a bunch of those moments-of-choice. You can make up your own plan about what to eat, but it is not cheating to follow someone else’s plan occasionally. Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else drive.

2. Information – Most diets have some element of education or information built into them. My clients say they are in the “I know what to do, I just don’t do it” crowd. Even they (and I) were amazed when we found out that Famous Dave’s cornbread muffin was 600 calories. Instead of being afraid of dieting, I think high school health class should force feed (i.e., teach) calorie counting to every teenager who has ever eaten a Big Mac.

3. Accountability – Being on a diet means there are some rules that are supposed to be guiding you. I know accountability can be tricky. What if you fail to do what you committed to doing? Are you then a failure? Roth seems to believe that we would all think so. She may be nearly right, but looking closely at accountability is actually where my philosophy closely ties with Roth’s, yet veers away at the same time. I believe accountability can be our best opportunity for the personal and emotional growth she and I both believe we need in order to heal what ails us. If you don’t do what you said you were going to do, it gives you an opportunity to examine the reason(s) why. Sometimes it is a spiritual hole that needs filled, but sometimes it’s just the need to buy and use a slow cooker or attend to some other mundane task . In my work we explore the answer (to why we didn’t do what we said we were going to do) from, what I call a top-down and bottom-up perspective. Top-down is “head and heart” (this is where Roth and I sing out of the same song book), bottom-up is “moving your legs and filling your belly.” Her work seems to indicate the only reason we are eating dysfunctionally is because of top-down reasons.

But honestly, there’s just as many times when working out the details of being organized enough to regularly get fresh salad in the refrigerator is just as much of an issue. Accountability gives us an opportunity to solve our problems, no matter what they are: top-down or bottom-up. If we aren’t holding ourselves accountable to anything… then we are just out there basking in the problem and not narrowing things down enough to start the search for a solution.

4. Mindfulness – Geneen Roth is all about mindfulness, to the point of discounting everything else. I’m about mindfulness too. However, I just happen to believe when you are specifically following a plan, you are less likely to eat mindlessly and you are going to have more opportunities to really slow down, enjoy and appreciate your food.

5. Motivation – Usually when someone is following a diet, they are doing it with some outside stimulation – whether it be a group, a coach, a buddy, a website or a book. I’m sure Roth would agree with me on not trying to travel the journey alone. Our eating and food habits are deeply ingrained, and it’s not easy to change them. Support and external motivational help is always a gift you can give yourself on any journey.

Whether you are going to be following a directed diet or devising your own directions, I believe you probably need some degree of each of those five elements in order to get some traction on your journey. Traction is good. Weight loss might not be the end goal … spiritual maturity might be the end goal, but  good vibrational energy, excitement if you will,  is easier to manifest when you are getting results. And you can’t tell me that Oprah isn’t going to have good vibrational energy when she drops a size or two.

No disrespect to psychotherapists, especially the one I’m married to, but therapy alone rarely solves food issues. Therapy, whether self-help or professional will be more effective, if one is not peeling off to Dairy Queen after every session. Just as most therapists urge abstinence, or at least attempts at abstinence while one is working on issues with an alcoholic…so should one urge diet… or at least attempts at structured healthful eating while working on food issues.

Not that I’m saying everyone who needs to diet has major issues. Some do, but then there are those with poor education about food, no cooking skills, who are overbusy, are a little lazy or a myriad of other factors.  If you do have “issues”  you’ll have a lot more access to what those issues actually are, if you are at least attempting to hold yourself to some healthful eating guidelines. (Which is a sneaky way of saying diet).

Geneen! Oprah! There’s nothing about dieting, in and of itself to be afraid of. There is nothing about dieting that has to keep us from being emotionally and spiritually fit if you define dieting as a means consciously trying to eat differently than the rest of society eats; planfully making decisions about what and when to eat and yes … even following guidelines.

Roth says our weight can be a door instead of a wall. I agree. But I also see that diets help you actually walk through that door.

I think Roth and I will agree on this… anything that can get help one get (and stay) checked-in is a good thing.

We’ve all actually watched as Oprah has used diets in this way in the past. Diets made her vibrational energy soar. Diets got her checked-in to her life, instead of the checking-out, which she was doing with food.

Does the spiritual and personal growth she attained while she was on those diets get discounted, washed down the drain, just because she put the weight back on? No! What she learned about herself – about not eating beef, about getting past her own personal limitations and running the marathon, about how to connect to her highest spiritual self when she was not binging – were all contributing factors to who Oprah is today. The world is a better place because Oprah used those same five elements as she transformed her body and her life.

Of course it’s disappointing that she eventually checked-out and gained the weight back. All of us check-out sometimes; Roth admits even she does. I just happen to believe that how long we check-out and how deep we dive would be a lot less extreme if, instead of scorning the idea of dieting, we embraced the idea of dieting and even embraced what I call diet-jumping. When dieting starts to get old, stale, boring…find a new way to mix it up. Don’t stay with the same old thing and burn yourself out. Stay checked-in and be willing to adjust and adapt and ask yourself whether you need to explore top-down or bottom-up solutions.

What do I hope for Oprah?
I hope that she uses the good energy she has from working with Roth to fuel some very mindful eating that will lead to weight loss.
I hope from her past experience she has enough ingrained self-knowledge to know she needs the above five elements in some form or fashion. I suspect she does. I suspect she’ll be “dieting” even when she says she is “not dieting.”

I hope she calls soon! I’ve got a wonderful, beautiful, juicy life (and lots of clients who do too) and we’d love to tell her how we achieved it while (and through) dieting!

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A sign in front of a church that I passed read, “God loves everyone, even the unlovable.” I had a good chuckle over the absence of judge-not-lest-ye-be-judged attitude.

But, I guess they were just being honest. It is hard not to find the actions of some so repulsive that we judge them unlovable.

At the core, those “unlovables” are actually suffering from a lack of true self-love. And that lack of self-love is manifesting in their actions. The world can be a pretty frightening place as a result.

But what about when we, the sort-of-lovable, sometimes-less-than-perfect, manifest our lack of self-love?

It can be a vicious cycle that can be directly tied to weight gain.

We start gaining weight because we don’t love ourselves enough to pay attention to ourselves (including loving our bodies) and give ourselves the time and attention we deserve. The weight gain leads us to even less regard for our bodies, and our bodies then become the easy targets for our negative thoughts.

This doesn’t feel good, and we don’t want to think about it, so we disconnect further from our bodies, and we gain more weight. Do you see the cycle here?

Hating your fat thighs or your flabby arms may be enough to get you started on a diet, but it will not sustain you. Sooner or later you’ll reject dieting if it manifests from a point of self-loathing, because self-loathing (obviously) doesn’t feel good.

But (you ask) isn’t the opposite of self-loathing – that is, loving and accepting your body at this weight – going to lead to more weight gain, or at least being unmotivated to take off the unhealthy weight?

No. If you’ve learned how to respect and love your body, you’ll be able to replace the self-loathing with self-love. Self-love will lead to self-care, which will lead to a reasonable diet and a reasonable weight. But if you haven’t taken time to learn to practice loving yourself, you’ll be left with a void.  No matter what your weight, you’ll still be talking negatively to yourself. Nothing will be good enough, and you’ll probably just return to that disconnection.

How can you practice self-loving while your body is still less than perfect? One way is to take an inventory of all that IS right about your body. Start with your toes and work your way up. Be thankful for everything. Think of the possibilities just in your feet. You have 52 bones there! Ten toes for balance.  Soles that act as shock absorbers that can take up to one million pounds of pressure in an hour of strenuous exercise. Work your way up your body. Include your internal organs and tissue. When you get to your head, think about your amazing brain, eyesight, a good voice, a full head of hair and thick eyelashes. The list of things for which to be grateful about your body is endless.

Be thankful your body has carried you through, in spite of the fact that you’ve abused it. Be thankful it has the ability to recover from the abuse you’ve heaped upon it. Be thankful you can both gain and lose weight. Love your body for how well it has served you.

The topic of self-love makes us uncomfortable. So does actually talking nice to ourselves or about ourselves. But this can change. It must change.

Get out a pen and paper and take the inventory about your body. Use affirmations (talking to yourself in an affirming voice and  positive way)  to speed along the process of your dreams coming true.

Soon the negative voices will start to sound off-key and, just as soon, mistreating your body will start to feel out of place also.

We give a lot of lip service to love, now let’s practice what we preach, toward ourselves.  Let’s work on approaching dieting from a point of self-love, not from self-loathing.

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